Insecurity. It’s a big one. Everyone has one, two or many…. And I am SICK of accepting that it may be the norm.
My question is, why do we have insecurities? Why do we let them control us for years or for some people hang over them their whole life...
Insecurities stem from expectation, the expectation we put on ourselves. Unrealistic expectations that we dream up in our own mind. We put an undeserved value on these expectations.
I'm going to note some insecurities/expectations that I have once felt or know girls struggle with.
Girl, I am about to give you some home truths. Things like:
- This one is for you mummas’ out there - Feeling like you are not a good enough mum because you compare yourself to other mums on Instagram..“ They always do crafts or outing with their kids and I just stay at home most days” OR “How do they always look so well dressed with makeup on. I can't even get out of my chill gears let alone put makeup on” OR " Their house is always so tidy" OR OR OR " Their kids are always well dressed" HOME TRUTH: TRUST ME they do not do adventures every single day without fail. They DO have days when they are just at home and even if you stay at home every single day as a Mum WHO CARES that does not make you any less of a Mum. Also, TRUST ME they do not wear makeup every single day without fail!! Again how does that make you any less of a mum or human for that matter if you don’t wear makeup? Also, TRUST ME their house is not tidy every single minute of the day & even if your house is never tidy that has nothing to do with your parenting skills my darling.
- "How is she always so happy? How is it that every single time I see her she is smiling, chatty and laughing? I swear she doesn’t have a sad or angry bone in her body." HOME TRUTH: YOU ARE WRONG! I can almost 100% Guarantee she gets sad and has days where she just feels blah. To think that people are happy all the time is one of the cruelest things you can do to yourself and it is sad because a lot of people actually are in the same boat as you. It can force you to feel like you have something wrong with you because you are not as smiley and chatty as they are… when really you are just putting unrealistic expectations on yourself.
- How come their relationship looks so perfect? They seriously NEVER fight; all they do is laugh. HOME TRUTH: All I have to say to this is WHATEVERRRRRRRR. Every single couple long term or short term will argue. Yes, there are different ways or arguing some better than others (It is very important to learn how to be gentle and understanding while arguing) (Daniel and I were once told by our pastors Steve and Becs Green that there are NO winners in an argument and when you understand that you will resolve your disagreement’s so much better) BUT to think that they are perfect is just real and once again unrealistic.
These are just a few common ones that can stem from social media, however, there are many more insecurities that people feel and struggle with. Starting as small ones and growing over time to huge monsters that control their world. Once we give power to them they grow…. Don’t feed them honey burn them.
Like I said at the start of this blog post...I strongly feel that one way to grow an insecurity into a monster is by putting too much expectation on ourselves. Where are we getting these expectations from? People? Other people who are swimming in their own insecurities however we feel like we need to live up to being like them or living like them. It's totally unfair to yourself to do this. You are dreaming up expectations that can't be met so you are constantly disappointing yourself... Give yourself grace!!! Move away from the unhealthy expectations in your world. You will walk with so much more freedom.
Wherever you are reading this right now please take the below sentences on the board and write them across your heart. Remember them always.
You do not need to live your life with insecurities. They will rob you of joy.
Insecurities begin and end in your mind. They are not truths so do not give them life.
Unhealthy and unrealistic expectations will give life to your insecurities.
Insecurities do not define you.
You deserve more than to live with insecurities. It is that simple.
You are beautiful, powerful, smart, wise, LOVED, cherished, thought of, wanted and needed.
Believe it, remember it and go get em, girl!