Sooo this is an interview with the most incredible lady, My mum Bridget. She is someone who helped shape me into who I am today. I can not express how much I look up to her and admire her strength in every area of her life. Mum has been through SO MUCH but walks with grace and carries an indescribable light. Her story is powerful.
I hope that when you read this you find hope and strength for your own journey. To know that you are not alone and other people have gone before you and conquered mountains just like you WILL today and your future days ahead.
In this interview, she brings a huge amount of wisdom and honesty.
AN INTERVIEW WITH HER:
What was your favorite thing to do when you were younger?
Dance, kiss, run
What was your first job?
Do you think life was freer back in your days?
100%, we roamed and explored for the day and returned home to be fed.
What is the biggest change in this generation?
The expectation of having things now!! Enjoy living more day to day life as opposed to planning for the future.
What age did you have me?
22 (a lost 22-year-old)
Was I planned?
How did you meet my biological dad?
Oh boy, we met at a party... A friend of mine was with me that night and also got pregnant to a friend of your biological fathers.
How long were you with my biological dad before you feel pregnant?
3 partying months.
What made you decide to leave him?
My time with your father sure was exciting, however, another side was the physical and emotional abuse that I experienced. He would lock me in a room in our house, broken ribs, affairs, in and out of prison. Once I had you I gained a mother’s strength to protect you, I wanted only the best for you, so I left. It took me 15months to leave.
Where did we live?
All over the place, always shifting, but once you were born I moved in with my Mum (your nana) until you were 14 months old.
Was it hard being a single mum?
Yes at times for sure! Having to make all the decision on my own, the worry that you did not have a father figure in your life. However, being a single Mum created a bond with you that is still very strong today.
Did you work when it was just me and you?
I have always worked. I have had good paying jobs, company cars, own home so these things were great to have single parenting.
What was your dream when younger and did this dream change once you had me?
I always wanted to be an actor! That dream changed before you came along! My new dream was to be the best Mum I could be.
What was the hardest mountain you had to climb?
This is a hard one. There have been so many, but I guess getting sober, this took many years but I finally did it and now I am 16 years free from addiction.
Are you proud of what you provided for me?
It’s funny I never really thought or think this, it was just what you do. I guess I made personal sacrifices so you did not go without. I am proud of who you are today so that cool.
What was the scariest moment in your life?
It is more the moments for me when FEAR is trying to shape my life, and it has at times.
When you look back on your past life what do you think?
Well as I am pondering these questions I feel emotion stirring. My past has become part of me but it has not defined me. It seems like another person’s life as it was very unhealthy, I really did live life on the edge.
Do you have any regrets?
What is your most treasured memory?
The day I held you
Your biggest achievement?
Raising a beautiful girl called Abby, getting sober, working hard, finding faith… HAVING THE COURAGE TO MAKE THE HARD DECISIONS.
What is the biggest difference you feel in your life now?
I feel calm and peace. I am not worried about what roller coaster ride is around the corner.
I know who I am.
My life has changed so much I was an insecure child, then I was a teenager that was self-destructive in the choices I made towards myself and others. I have had it said that I was headed on the fast track to destruction!! When I think about how who I am today in myself, physically, emotionally, spiritually it is nothing short of a miracle.
Here are 5 things that helped me.
1. 1 person that you admire, a person that has something you want for your life.
2. Get yourself inspired by music, movies, poems, literature – DREAM
3. If you have any addictions, get the help – GET IT!!! Be BRAVE
4. Find your spiritual being, for me, this is Jesus, for you it maybe something that brings that calm, that centeredness. Go there OFTEN!!
5. BE BRAVE
When did you realize your life needed to change?
I guess there were many moments along the way where I thought my life was pretty out of control, the choices I made were always extreme. Looking for the next adrenaline fix, the excitement factor.
I remember looking in the mirror one morning after a physical punch up (drunk of course) and I had blood all over me, thinking this is not normal, this is not okay. I lost my job, I got arrested for drunk and driving… blah blah… the list goes on. I thought sex was love, I had many sexual partners searching for love, but all I found was pain and emptiness, this feeling became more intense over the years. I was desperate to be loved and accepted. My need to find hope, to find a pain-free life just intensified, (building the tension for the change) this helped bring about this change. There are more defining moments of my journey but best I leave it here, don’t want to freak you all out!
When/how did you find your faith in God?
I always knew about God but did not have a personal relationship with him. A friend invited me to church and I said yes, a few weeks after attending (hiding in the back row and leaving before anyone could speak to me) I asked Jesus into my heart in my bedroom. (you were fast asleep in your room)
Do you think your faith has helped you in your journey?
Immensely, it has been everything, to understand my worth & value, to feel how much I am loved was everything to me. It becomes all about God’s standards and not the world’s, so this offers freedom.
What is your go-to verse in the bible?
I have 3 – Psalm 139 as this was the first verse I meditated on when becoming a Christian... Its a big one but the words are incrediable.
Galatians 5 vs 1 and Hebrews 12 vs 1-3
( guys I have pasted them below so take a read if you like)
Psalm 139:1-24 NIV
“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you. If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them, my enemies. Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Galatians 5:1 NIV
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
Hebrews 12:1-3 NIV
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer, and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him, he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”
Your favorite thing to do now?
Run, cook for family, love my children and grandchildren, kiss my husband
Have you always lived in NZ?
I have lived in Australia for a year when I was 18 and The Netherlands more recently for 3 years
If you had an open plane ticket where would you go and why?
I would love to live in Italy for 6-12 months and soak up the culture. I also want to go to where my family line is traced – Norway.
All music, love it.
Asian fusion. A good old Pie.
Makeup or no makeup?
What is your scent?
I have many but you always tell me good old Revel on Fire and Ice reminds you of HOME!!
How many coffees do you have a day?
Mostly 3, sometimes 4.
Sweet or savory?
Both, but can’t do the sweet until the afternoon, but I give a good nudge then.
What has been married to your best friend taught you?
That being married to your best friend is essential. It is my soft landing and my springboard to take the world on.
You have experienced love in all its forms and what would you say the most important thing partners can do for each other?
Bringing me that cup of coffee in the mornings (seriously). This is a huge question and I could write a book on this. I have experienced a huge diversity with regards to relationships. It is discovering what you need in your world/your partner to be the best you. I had to write a list of my non-negotiables and I had to stick by them. It’s important to have kindness towards each other. Allowing each other to grow into one’s true self, not one that their partner things they should be.
What keeps a marriage/relationship burning?
My man is pretty sensational, I admire and respect him as a person.
Humour is super important to us, same goals, the same moral compass is important to keep it burning. It is about the moment’s – intimacy, dinner’s out, holiday’s etc but it’s the connection of our journey that keeps it burning for me.
What would be your one piece of advice you would give to young girls that still have their life ahead of them?
Loving and accepting who you truly are – your authentic self is the greatest gift. From this foundation, you make all life decision’s, career, love, relationships, friends, food – life’s direction. How you love and accept yourself will determine these choices. When we don’t have good self-esteem or self-worth we accept the bad into our worlds for we think we deserve this standard. When you have great self-worth, and self-esteem when the yuk comes into your world you will kick it in the butt for sure.
& last but not least...Who is your favorite daughter ;)?
You are my favorite 23-year-old daughter and Charlie is my favorite 10-year-old daughter